The acquisition of our new rental property, affectionately called the Pink Palace, and more specifically its function as a space for family worship, has provided me a new and most excellent place to explore the intricacies and complexities of helping children grow, “Up, Not Out.” Certainly I have had opportunities to explore at work – but typically these have been attempts to connect and re-connect children to elements of childhood. At the Pink Palace, however, I have a particular goal of growing my children up, but am learning, often the hard way, how to do this without growing them out.
I want my children to grow up as worshippers. I want to encourage them to connect with Jesus in a personal and individual way. I want to display for them a passion and maturity in myself which values the Presence of God. This is my intent: to pass on a culture of authentic, Spirit-filled worship.
And yet, to watch my children play, sing, and dance with such freedom in all things has refreshed my understanding of worshipping and interacting with our Father. I am twice the worshipper as a father then I was before becoming one – and I owe this to my children. I am remarkably freer in expression and emotion since becoming a father. I sing (though still often poorly), I dance, I roar like a lion, I fall to my knees. My filter has diminished considerably – and again I owe much of this to my children. It is they who have taught me about worship at the Pink Palace and in everyday life.
It is the awareness of these two truths which I carry into our family worship times each week at Pink Palace – to influence and be influenced, to grow kids up and simultaneously reconnect myself to freedom. Jesus tells me, “Unless one is converted like a little child they cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” (Matthew 18:3) Scripture also teaches me, “Out of the mouths of babes you have ordained strength.” (Psalm 8:2) I know a God who is pleased with my kids and delighted by their hearts, songs, play, and giggles. What my kids naturally bring as worshippers is valuable. And yet, these things somehow become powerless head knowledge when my kids start running around like crazy, throwing things, and choosing not to connect in worship as I would like to see them connect. They have room to grow, but I must not force a growth which steals their freedom, joy, and wonder.
This kind of growth and maturity cannot be coerced; it must be inspired. My failed teaching has come in moments of personal insecurity. Their behavior begins to insult my sense of decorum, their worship offends me (at times because it is not appropriate, but most often because I am more concerned with what others think, then with what my Father loves). When I try to instruct from this place I inevitably create tension and confusion in my kids, and feel cornered into a position of trying to “force” them to worship.. My own insecurity is the monster forced worship is feeding. What is more, to keep this kind of tabs on their worship, I have to quit worshipping myself. I take my eyes off the Father, and put them on my kids.
Contrarily, when I have kept my eyes on the Father, I find my kids lift their eyes to their father, see him worshipping, and are moved to join in. It is then I witness my 5-year-old lay down on the floor in the shape of a cross having never seen someone do likewise. It is then I hear my 3-year-old start to sing her own song about the Love of Jesus. They are moved to create and moved to express in new ways, but only when I create a space of freedom. I want to trust Holy Spirit meeting with my children and trust my children will fall in love with Whom they meet. I can help their journey of growing up and pointers and correction will certainly have their occasional place, but continuing to grow up myself while pursuing my own childlike freedom has not yet failed to produce a place in which I can watch my kids grow up without growing out.
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