I have been obsessed the past weeks with the human obsession with sin. Human consciousness of sin is a central force behind so much behavior, none of it positive. In Jesus Christians proclaim victory over sin, and freedom from its bondage. This means many things to many people, and to try to broach the subject in a one-page blog is like walking a razor-sharp mountain ridge with death-falls on every side. But progress I must, though with one aim only: to share a few stories from the gospels in order to reflect upon the ways sin-consciousness infects and affects parenting. Please help me stay on task!
The first story comes from Luke 2, and is the wonderful story of twelve-year-old Jesus running away from his family to listen and talk in the temple. Our savior, the spotless lamb, did not sin, but he was guilty of running away from home, disobeying his parents, scaring the sandals off of them, and topping it off by talking back when they finally discovered his whereabouts. If this was my kid he still might have been locked in his room by the time he was set to be crucified. In such a child most of the church would see a sinner, an impertinent, and strong-willed little punk in need of a good straightening out. Yet Jesus, and the Bible, and all of Christian doctrine still insist this was his behavior, but none of it was sinful! What!?? This should mess with our heads.
The second story comes from Matthew 16 and 17. Jesus predicts his death, Peter pulls him aside very nice and respectfully (a very un-Peter-like thing to do) to tell him how inappropriate it is to talk about dying, and Jesus calls him out very publically, and tells him in front of everyone, “get behind me Satan!” Then, six days later, Peter is one of three selected disciples who Jesus takes with him to the mountain. Here they witness the transfiguration of Jesus, and Peter sticks his foot in his mouth again. Two points I want to make. Despite Jesus’ very direct correction of Peter, Peter never changes positions, and he never changes who he is. Jesus keeps him right by his side, and this despite the fact, (or perhaps because), Peter doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. This same Peter goes on to take over Jesus’ position as leader of the movement, and Jesus has the relationship and grace to correct him, even forcefully, without compromising their connection, or Peter’s identity.
The third story is similar and comes in Luke 10 and subsequently John 12. The first portion is the tale of Jesus staying at the house of two sisters. Martha, the Bible tells us, is the sister who welcomes Jesus into the house, and then the one who does all the cooking, serving, and working to provide hospitality. Meanwhile, the other sister Mary just sits with Jesus. Martha asks Jesus to tell her sister to get off her bum, and he responds that, “she has chosen the better part.” Ouch! But . . . some time later, after the resurrection of their brother Lazarus the women are back with Jesus, and once again he is dining at their house. This time guess who’s cooking . . . ? Martha, right back at it, is slaving away making sure everyone is comfortable. And what’s Mary doing? That’s right. She’s with Jesus and this time she is pouring a year’s wage worth of perfume on his feet, massaging them, and wiping it with her hair (can you imagine how long she smelled!). My point is that they were in the same roles. Jesus had brought some kind of correction to Martha in the first meeting, but he did not do so in a way which stripped her of her identity. She was a server, a hospitality pro, and she’s right back at it the next time we see her, but this time without the poopy attitude. Mary also escapes any kind of pressure to change and takes her natural position each time at Jesus’ feet.
Jesus and the Bible view mistakes and sin differently than we do. Jesus seems to recognize the place we stumble most frequently is in our greatest strength. Peter cannot be Peter without his mouth. Does it get him in trouble? Yes. Does it at times require correction? Yes. Does it in the end become the key which unlocks his destiny? Yes. So it is with all people. Unfortunately, so much of our understanding of sin and mistakes and right and wrong is so burdened, and so prone towards shame we are quick to strip people of their identity in the correction of their mistakes.
My son Eli has a loud mouth. He is like Peter in this way. I must know there are times he needs correction, times even he needs to know he is partnering with Satan in the way he is using it, but he must always be with me on the mountain in the next scene, and he must feel just as much freedom in that next scene to open his big mouth (even at the risk of another mistake). Now how do I do that? How did Jesus do that? I am not sure I completely know, and what I might I certainly don’t have time to share now. However, I am convinced and convicted by these three stories as to the dissonance between the way Jesus views, deals with, and lives out sin, mistakes, and identity and the way the Christian world I know does.
OK, I lied, one sneak peek into how I think this works. Because . . . when Christians read the story of the twelve-year-old Jesus they celebrate a young man in love with His God, amazing in his authority, and his courage. They see the one destined to become the confronter of the religious establishment and the Savior of the world, and they overlook all his bad behavior. When it comes to Jesus we are suddenly not sin-conscious, we are God-conscious. This is Jesus’ secret. He corrects and keeps Peter free, He sits with “sinners,” and fights with the religious elite and he does so because he is not sin-conscious, he is God-conscious. Where is God in your children? See it. Encourage it. Call them out when they miss it, but stay conscious of Christ in them the hope of glory, not the miss of the mark. God bless us all, especially the parents!
Andrew Wiens
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