First Chronicles 12:32 speaks of the Sons of Isaachar as a group of men who “understood the times” and “knew what Israel should do.” As a parent, I believe this is one of the most important roles we have for our families. We must understand the time we are living in, both as in the age and era, and the specific season for our specific family. I aim to talk mostly about the latter in this blog.
I hear people talk often about the “season” of life they are in, and for the most part it drives me nuts. It does so because most of the individuals talking about “seasons” are talking about the inconvenient circumstances of now which make their life less than ideal. This kind of thinking excuses life which is less than full by blaming it on the “season” or current circumstances.
The entrepreneurial family does not allow circumstances or seasons to dictate their quality of life.
Rather, they set high expectations for their quality of life and seek understanding of the times in order to make adjustments to sustain such a lifestyle. Stuff happens outside of every parent’s control, but we need not be its victims.
Clear, articulated culture is every person, family, and organization’s greatest weapon against circumstance. I have said elsewhere: I believe culture and hope to be synonymous. As leaders, we have the responsibility to set our hopes, our expectations, for the quality of life our family will lead. Then in each “season” of life, we have the responsibility to figure out what activities, what norms, what energies need to be exerted or adjusted to maintain or improve said quality of life. The Sons of Isaachar did not just understand the times, they knew what to do about it. True wisdom comes in the second piece of this puzzle. It is easy to say work is hard right now, our marriage is going through some bumps, or we are just really busy. This is understanding the times. Knowing what to do about it is where wisdom lies, and our hope can help carry us there.
A great starting place for a quality of life indicator is the list of Fruits of the Spirit in Galatians. In the New King James Version the list reads love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Let us imagine this list is also the list of the culture we intend to cultivate in our home. This means we are setting our hopes, our expectations, on each of these qualities being consistently found in every aspect of our family life. They are our standard, our culture. As parents then, we can ask ourselves what is happening in the present “season” of life, and make adjustments as necessary to maintain this culture.
For example, basketball season might be a recurring season for many families. Right now in basketball season we recognize joy, peace, gentleness, and self-control are all suffering in our family. The question then becomes, “what do we do to prevent this suffering in this season?” Rather than basketball season becoming simply a “season” which must pass, we are now powerful to enact change to ensure quality of life even in the midst of this hard season. The changes might be quitting another activity, being more intentional with family meals, or even recognizing “basketball season” is not something our family can handle well. Most problems people attribute to “seasons” are problems they are more than capable of quitting. Quitting is not the answer though; culture through hope is the answer.
If you do not adjust to avoid bad seasons as a family leader, you run the risk of bad seasons becoming the culture of your family. I see it everywhere I look. People tell me their problems are just a season. The circumstances change but guess what? The new circumstances produce the same kind of season. The reason: they’ve become okay with a culture of bad. The solution: not just know the times, but like the Sons of Isaachar use high expectations for quality of life to help show you what to do in the midst of them.
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