Everyone wants to raise kids who can dream.
The ancient Jewish people, under the leadership of Joshua, had a dream for a Promised Land flowing with milk and honey. But when they arrived, there were no sweetened cow juices. Instead there were endless acres of grasses and wildflowers yet to be processed through the ingestion and ejection of cows and bees, and these still behind the protection of enemy forces. Their feet had finally touched the Promised Land, but the milk and honey weren’t yet flowing.
All dreams and promises are of this same prototype. The dreamer begins to have expectation for a life that is sweeter, like milk and honey, but their sweet drink is still in the form of wild grasses. Like the Ancient Israelites, most people settle long before they get to their promised land.
Disappointment and obstacles lead us to accept a life of Splenda and instant dry milk.
I want to give us a vision for how we can train our kids to see the milk and honey in their grasses and fill them with the patience needed to embrace the process of that grass becoming milk.
The first gift we can give them is the capacity to dream big, concrete dreams. In the buildup to World War II, FDR told the American people they would build 50,000 new aircraft. It was a ludicrous number, “impossible” the experts said. Regardless, in his simple, fatherly style, Roosevelt declared it and people believed him. A couple decades later, JFK did the same thing by telling the country they would be sending a man to the moon. Both men took a concrete but distant dream, something much like Milk and Honey, and set it before a people. Neither mentioned the endless man-hours and raw materials which would be needed to make them happen. The tires for Roosevelt’s planes were still growing in rubber trees when he made the proclamation.
They simply provided a clear and persuasive vision and goal which would propel a people past the painful process of realizing it.
Vision proclaimed, FDR and JFK then became the Fathers walking through the painful process with their nation of children in order to fulfill their collective dream. This is the second gift we can give our young dreamers.
Two Christmases ago, I gave my family an unusual gift. It was the future production of our own theatric version of Beauty and the Beast. It was a clear, definable vision, a distant, dreamy land I promised we would inhabit by the end of the year. I said nothing of the script which wasn’t written, the costumes and set which weren’t designed, or the hours of memorization and practice which would be required to reach our destination. Instead, we went there step-by-step together. We invested the hours together. We overcame frustration together. We persevered, and in the end performed our promise together. I gave them a vision and led the charge through the process.
In my home, we have determined to conquer at least one of these lofty dreams each year. This year we chose as a family to write and illustrate our own poetry book.
By providing these collective dreams for us to pursue together, I am working to ensure my children won’t give up on Milk and Honey because they lack the perseverance to wait for the grass to grow, the cows to eat, and Bessy to give.
When we just talk whimsically about dreams to the next generation, we run the risk of raising folks with big ideas and no legs to get them there. If we focus on the obstacles, we will raise a generation content with the status quo out of a fear of challenge and risk. Instead, by practicing the attainment of concrete but lofty dreams in our family settings, we can raise a generation which can persevere for their dreams and realize they are best fulfilled in the context of faithful families.
Pick one clear target for your family, class, or group to pursue in the coming year, and lead them as a persevering parent into your collective promised land. You’ll all be thankful you did. I promise!
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