Many parents and leaders are running with similar mantras. Unfortunately, though the grit comes in handy at times, such mindsets are often destructive in the long term.

Instead, the phrase, “Work smarter not harder,” echoes down from wise voices to provide us the necessary humility to recognize just what we are capable of. In leadership, it just so happens, the best we are capable of, is leading about ten people.

Moses, the Ancient Israelite (as quoted below), was a typical 21^stcentury parent.

He was going a thousand different directions while someone else was caring for his family (in this case, his father-in-law.) With the best of intentions, he found himself running from morning to evening, day in and day out, always at the beck-and-call of people who needed his help. Graciously, but clearly, his father-in-law let him know enough was enough. He needed to get others involved, leaders of thousands, of hundreds, etc.

Seen in reverse, the counsel read like this, “you focus on leading ten others. Let them each lead ten others, those tens will lead tens, and pretty soon you will be leading all these people, with less effort, greater depth, and to far greater health for you and them.”

“ . . . and Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, came with [Moses’] sons and [Moses’] wife to Moses in the wilderness, where he was encamped at the mountain of God. . . . And so it was, on the next day, that Moses sat to judge the people; and the people stood before Moses from morning until evening. So when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said, ‘What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit, and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?’ . . . So Moses’ Father-in-law said to him, ‘The thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it yourself. . . . Moreover you shall select from all the people able men . . . and place such over them to be rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens.’ . . . Then Moses let his father-in-law depart, and he went his way to his own land.” – Exodus 18: 5, 13-14, 17-18, 21, 27 NKJV

It was in line with this wisdom that our country developed a cabinet of leaders around the president. In her most excellent book, “Team of Rivals,” Doris Kearns Goodwin argues that one of the most central traits which set Abraham Lincoln apart as a leader was his capacity to lead his cabinet, his ten, extremely well.

By focusing on his ten, Lincoln led leaders, who in turn were released to lead others, who all together led the country through its most trying season.

Jesus Christ himself, the one, if any, justified in saying, “I can do it,” humbled himself to be the leader of twelve.

He understood the capacity of humanity and leadership. By leading too many, one must of necessity lead followers. Followers do what they’re told, they show up to events, but they lack personal autonomy, character, and capacity.

Rather, by leading twelve, Jesus turned a bunch of fishermen and outcasts into the powerful leaders who would lead the greatest revolution the world has ever seen.

The question before us is what does this have to do with parenting? Everything. You will remember Moses’ inability at the beginning of his story to care for his family. His father-in-law was doing it. After the switch, he sent his father-in-law away empty handed. It can only be assumed his family now stayed put. Every man and woman entrusted with the role of parent, has children with the primary rights to a spot in their ten. By placing our children into the top spots of our ten, we ensure we enter parenting with a mindset not to raise followers but leaders. If every parent in the world led well their small flock, that flock would become leaders of others, and each generation would get stronger and healthier and the world would be healthier because of it. Unfortunately, not everyone currently has that capacity. I believe I do, and with my five kids, I might even muster tacking on a few more to make up for those others still waiting for a Jethro to set them straight.

I cannot however, afford to cut corners or do it the hard way when it comes to leadership and parenting. It’s beyond our human capacity. We were meant to lead ten; tens make hundreds; hundreds make thousands; that’s “smarter, not harder.”