As I ponder the present generation, I believe one of the greatest poverties we are experiencing is the lack of “green pastures” and “still waters.”

One of the core messages of “Up, Not Out” is that childhood is a quality of life, not just a season. I insist there are characteristics of hope, wonder, dreams, freedom, and play we have relegated to a time of life, and need to smuggle into adulthood. However, childhood is also a season of life, and we are gradually (or not so gradually) stealing that from our children as well.

The journey to becoming responsible, mature adults is best made in green pastures, walking beside still waters.

School is happening earlier and earlier for kids. The pressure is to have three-year-olds doing pre-school prep. Extracurriculars start filling schedules just as young, with dance groups, team sports, music lessons, etc. etc. etc. All of this is compiled upon the ever-increasing exposure to technology with all its noise and its myriad of choices, as well as a generation, in many cases, removed from contact with nature and the inherent space it creates for reflection and slowing down. Some schools and movements are attempting to address some of these issues. Nature schools are popping up. There is a “Leadership Education” movement which is amazing. True change, however, must come from the level of family. Most parental shepherds are making their children lie down in crowded bedrooms after days running frantically besides turbulent, rushing waters. A child of such a shepherd is in terrible want.

The first thing we must do is make our kids lie down in green pastures.

I love that phrase. It is something that will only come with a deliberate act of the will.

It takes a powerful “YES” to protect the childhood of our children, because to do so will require saying a terrifying “NO” to many things it can feel like our children might need.

The lie which contributes most to this is that childhood is a time to develop skills. It is not. Skills can be developed very quickly by young adults and adults with the internal motivation to develop them.

Instead, childhood is a time to develop identity.

The most important questions of childhood are “Who Am I?” and “Who are We?” These questions necessitate green pastures in which children can observe, ponder, and chew on the deeper truths of the world around them. We are currently raising children who are highly skilled, but highly dysfunctional. Anxiety and depression are through the roof in part due to our kids being handed tool after tool after tool without the wisdom and integrity to wield them. Character must come first, and character is formed in the womb of a childhood full of green pastures.

The second thing we give our kids to this end is leadership beside still waters.

This gets complicated as it requires our own personal health, our own personal identity journey, and our own capacity to reflect with our children. Anyone can make it a rule not to get overly busy, to turn off the technology, and ensure lots of childhood space to grow calmly. However, great shepherds also lead beside waters of reflection. The healthy home of childhood incorporates daily time to answer the two big questions from above: “Who Am I?” and “Who are We?” Mealtimes may be the best and easiest place to start. However, quiet times working on projects, cooking meals together, or reading books together are also great places and spaces to ensure reflective waters for your family.

The successful shepherd knows how to ask questions of their little lambs as well as how to tell their own stories.The heart of leadership is modeling.

Let your children see you discovering who you are. Let them hear you celebrating who they are, and let them spend long hours with you staring into the reflective pool where we become our fullest selves.

This is the truest provision we can give our families. Don’t stray from the green pastures. Don’t be tempted by the noise and commotion elsewhere. Your family, this generation, our world, needs green pastures and still waters.