Nurturing health in our homes through one simple skill

More. Faster. Busier. Better.

There is a sneaky current underlying culture of more and faster, bigger means better, and busier means abundance. I say sneaky because few desire to live by these sentiments.

No one wants to be so busy they crash with a nasty illness on their mini-vacation. No one wants to tell their children to be discontent, that there is always something better out there, somewhere. No one wants their child to be impatient for what is coming. However, even without directly teaching these things, it is easy to live in such a way that these values are picked up unconsciously.

To counter the more, faster, busier = better mantra from infiltrating our homes, there are several things one can do (as described in detail in the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne, M. Ed. and Lisa M. Ross). However, the overarching remedy is rest.

Rest: the siesta, sabbath, or break in one’s day, week, month, year.

Rest is a time to reflect, to appreciate and grow from things past. It is a time to let the body, mind, and emotions decompress and unwind. It is a time to get to know one’s self: reflecting on areas of pride and of strength as well as limits and weaknesses. It is a time to create and dream of possibilities and potentials of moments to come. It is a time to recover and reorganize.

It is a time to declare worth beyond speed, contentment in self and present circumstances, and realization that all cannot be done by me right now and life goes on nonetheless and is really quite good.

The difficulty with rest is the cultural norm of adults who think they are too busy to rest—but desperately want to—and children who are being forced to rest—but want desperately to stay up like a big kid (AKA: adult).

Instead, a daily rest should be a norm for all ages: an event to be looked forward to, a time of peace and joy.

Without these pauses in life—from small pauses daily to larger pauses monthly and even longer pauses yearly—we have no time to assess, make adjustments, or live intentionally. We have no time to develop who we are individually or as a family or as a business. We have no way to unwind or process the good and bad things going on and assess how we are dealing with them. Without this time of rest, we are unhealthy and this cycle is being passed down to our children.

In our house, we are practicing the art of slowing down by carving out a sacred forty-five minute chunk of time in the middle of our day when everyone rests. (Well, usually. When broken, it is often regretted.) It is a time where we practice listening to what our bodies need: sleep, read, lay quietly, etc. It is a time of quiet and of rest. When we awaken, we are refreshed for another exciting half of a day to fill, discover, play, work our bodies hard, and enjoy together.

This gift of a daily rest is perhaps one of the biggest gifts my children have unintentionally given me. Our days run better when we all have daily rests. My attitude (and everyone else’s) is warmer, less hectic and curt. And though there are days where this “normal rest” is missed, the house feels a big welcome sigh the next day as we sink our heads into our pillows for rest.

The fullest life does not necessarily mean the fullest schedule.

It is the ability for one to bring their fullness of self to a moment. It is a dance between creativity, activity, and rest which produces the fullest life individually and corporally: “Activity without downtime is ultimately—like a plant without roots—unsustainable. . . . Rest nurtures creativity, which nurtures activity. Activity nurtures rest, which sustains creativity. Each draws from and contributes to the other.” (Simplicity Parenting, pg 139, Kim John Payne M. Ed. and Lisa M. Ross)

Let us speak the value of rest through our actions for the health and fullness of our children, our families, and ourselves.

Questions to ponder:

*What if kids’ trouble with resting is an attitude picked up from adults’ inability to break themselves?

*What if adults decided to rest in their day? Would (adult) attitudes change, complications be handled differently, connections be strengthened, or illnesses be prevented?

*What if by resting our minds and bodies we could then give 100% to whatever we do throughout the day and actually get more done?

(Though if this becomes the mail goal of rest, it misses the heart of resting and may not actually be as beneficial.)

Tips you may want to try for successful (daily) rest time—for yourself and/or your kids:

-Limit all distractions!

This is huge and probably my number one tip, mainly because there are so many types of distractions and they limit the quality of rest dramatically. Rest in a space where there aren’t a lot of toys or the ease of technological devices.

Let it be a time to unplug from clutter of all kinds.

Maybe that means journaling to declutter the mind. Perhaps that means burying your phone in the backyard so you aren’t thinking of connecting with others . . . or entertainment. Maybe that means cleaning up the kids’ room so it feels like a welcoming place to rest rather than an exciting, high-stimulated children’s museum. Maybe that means setting an alarm in another room so you aren’t constantly concerned about the time.

-Rest in same place, same time.

-Connect before resting with those around you with something shared (a story, a song, a topic of conversation).

-Schedule in your rest time and make a plan for how you will spend that time.

-Sleep every once in a while. By all means, make sure the time is not always “productive.”

-Start with a shorter rest time and slowly increase the time, if it seems crazy to rest for forty-five minutes.

-Have a “special rest” day for those who rest quietly and respectfully. (We have started once a week and it is a big hit for everyone! What is special changes and is a fun surprise to look forward to the rest of the week.)

-If you sit all day, perhaps a walk is “resting” your sitting body.

-Use different deep breathing techniques to start your rest time.