We are so blessed to live in a time when information is readily available to us. Our access is incredible—overwhelming even. It is our responsibility to know how to use this vast amount of information to benefit ourselves, our families, and our world.

Because even with all that information, unless we are able to implement even a portion of it into our lives all this knowledge benefits us little.

When it comes to parenting and relationships, this knowledge implementation is crucial. Parents need to be able to take the vision, the heart, and the techniques learned and transpose them into our own unique situations. We need to be comfortable in the problem-solving process when action needs to be taken with a new situation we have never seen or read using what we have already received.

So how do we acquire/grow this skill and create a culture of being a family of problem-solvers? I have listed four initial steps to start this family culture of problem-solving, though as you get experimenting more and more, you will probably find this short list is anything but exhaustive!

1. Life-long learners

At A Trinity Family, we talk often about the importance of intentional learning all our lives. This learning assists in the problem-solving skill. In learning, one broadens their world and with a broader view, one can be more creative with solutions by drawing two different spheres together (as discussed in detail in the book Range: Why generalists triumph in a specialized world by David Epstein).

Arturo Casadevall (MD, PhD, researcher and experimenter) was quoted by saying, “‘I always advise my people to read outside your field, everyday something. And most people say, “Well, I don’t have time to read outside my field.” I say, “No, you do have time, it’s far more important.” Your world becomes a bigger world, and maybe there’s a moment in which you make connections.’” (Range pg. 282, emphasis added)

Learn something new. Everyday. Yes, you!

2. Let necessity be the “mother of invention.”

So often in our culture, we are quick to buy our solution or refer to the expert—or youtube, pinterest, etc. Refrain and practice your own problem-solving! Seek your own solutions with what you already have and what you know along with what you are learning.

It is a great way to practice “playing,” experimenting, and inventing outside of stressful situations.

For example, our oven broke just this past spring. After brainstorming lots of different solutions and trying many things over the course of several months (which created some great memories), we decided a traditional oven was what we wanted. Our son was even partially bummed we got a new one since we found several fun ways to make it work. But now we converted our old one into a summer kitchen stove on wheels (since the stove was working) and the burnt out oven is currently a smoker and has kicked out some beautiful smoked turkeys!

Whether it is an oven problem or how to use up the leftover pumpkin in the fridge or how to use the cardboard box in your next family activity, there are problem-solving opportunities everywhere. The joy and pride you will receive upon your successful “invention” is well worth the investment of time and energy.

Caution: do not let “inventions” that don’t work well keep you from experimenting more! They often turn into a good story. Keep trying, learning, and tweaking.

3. Let your kids struggle with their problems.

Don’t come to the rescue all the time. Adults are too quick to provide solutions mainly because they are uncomfortable with their child’s struggles. Over time, this will train your child to expect others to help them and will weaken their problem-solving skills and their confidence in themselves to accomplish tasks.

This doesn’t mean you have to make yourself absent in their “crisis,” but let them try their ideas—even help them with their ideas, especially when you know they won’t work—and be their wise guide as they work through their problem. Then watch them celebrate their successes knowing the longer it takes to come by it, the more proud they will be. (And you give a great gift of perseverance along with a knowledge, for themselves, they are capable, which will serve them well wherever they go.)

Caution: Don’t think of problems as just breaking something or working to tie their shoe. Problems could even be knowledge inquiries and questions. Don’t be too quick to provide the answer or go to google to “research.” Though at times this research is good, simple discovery is even better when possible. (Simple example: what floats/sinks can be found on google, but much more fun discovered while playing in water.)

When can you let your child discover on their own?

4. Work through the process together.

Problem-solving can be a risky process. You put yourself, your ideas, and your effort out on the line to crash or rise to victory. This whole process, from brainstorm to execution, is best done with others. Invite your kids into your problem-solving adventures, when appropriate. Better yet, make projects where problem-solving will need to happen and everyone can practice all stages of the process together in a fun, safe environment.

Problem-solving opportunities are pervasive, we just need to know when to take the opportunities instead of forgoing the practice, the play, and experimenting because someone somewhere has one potential answer we could use.

The practice is well-worth the time, often leads to some fun memories, and is a skill easily transferable to all areas of life.

Have fun with it. Problem-solving/experimenting can be the best type of play!