The modern tendency in family life is to work toward bigger houses, getting everyone their own rooms and own space, whereas the tendency in kids activities is to word toward more choices and flashier activities.

Research suggests these both could be a big mistake. Proximity is important!

I firmly believe the worst decision my parents ever made was to move our family to a bigger house just as we were becoming teenagers. From that day forward, everyone tended to stay in their own space, and like Allen suggests above, we might as well have been in a different country.

The most important decision I ever made while leading youth was to prioritize daily small groups.

No matter where we engage with kids, we can move to prioritize proximity to create a healthier culture and connection in our environments.

Consider the value of the following environment set-ups

in your home to cultivate proximity:

1. A Dining Room Table the entire family gathers around at least an average of once daily, to share stories, ask questions, and connect.
2. A main gathering place where the majority of the family spends most of their time whenever at home. This could be a kitchen or a living room, preferably free of technology, and the place where people are simply together: maybe not doing the same things, but doing them in proximity.
3. Shared sleeping and bathing spaces. Lots of beds and baths not only means more cleaning, it probably means less connection in the home. Kids who learn to share bathrooms and bedrooms receive a communicated expectation of connection. Insisting kids share spaces says, “I don’t expect you guys to drift apart as you age. You're siblings by birth, friends by proximity.” Consider keeping the adult bedroom in close proximity as well.

Consider the value of the following environment set-ups

in your program to cultivate proximity:

1. A Dining Room Table type experience students gather around each day with the same people to share about life.
2. A Main Gathering Place where your entire program comes together for shared daily activities.
3. Shared spaces. Lots of access to spaces can feel like a chief desire in our cramped schools, but it not only means more cleaning for custodians. It can also mean greater feelings of isolation in our programs. Consider intentionally running multiple activities in the same space for people to be in greater proximity to one another.

How can you prioritize proximity to increase the connection in your environment?

View more ways to build a healthier culture,

with the help of The Culture Code here.